Firsts
by checkerboxed
Summary: [DMHG oneshot]. There's got to be a first for everything...


**Disclaimer: **I don't own, as you know.

oOo  
**Firsts  
One-Shot  
Checkerboxed  
**oOo

**********Sometimes, he smiles at her. During class, or when he finds her in their shared Heads Common Room at midnight, sound asleep slumped over a book. It never happens when someone is looking. It isn't much, just a quirk of the lips in a relatively upward direction, always suppressed before he realizes what he's done. Still, it's a smile, not a sneer. At night, alone in his dorm room, he curls up in bed in shame. Purebloods don't smile at mudbloods. **

_Sometimes, she smiles at him. During class, or when she stumbles across him alone on the Quidditch pitch, practicing with a stolen Snitch. He can't see her. It never happens when someone, especially him, is looking. It isn't much, but it warms her eyes. Still, it's a smile, something that rarely graces her face lately. At night, alone in her dorm room, she curls up in bed and wonders why_.

**Every now and then, he finds himself almost reaching for her. Only after they've been doing their rounds together on an uneventful night, or when he finds himself alone in the Owlery with her. Always, she breaks the feeling by saying something, and he balls his fingers into a fist and whips out an insult to cover the pink stain creeping across his features.**

_Every now and then, she finds herself almost reaching for him. Only after she's found him sobbing quietly in the corner of their Common Room and he's threatened her with a curse if she speaks of it to anyone. Only after she finds him stumbling toward the bathroom in the morning, half awake. Always, she pulls her arms back before he notices, blushing profusely and turning away._

**Now, he sits wondering what is wrong with him.**

_Now, she sits wondering what is wrong with her._

**He doesn't know what this feeling is, and its making him very, very thoroughly pissed off. He's always been in control of his feelings, and emotions, but this was entirely new to him. Looking at her makes his heart clench, and when their eyes meet, just for a second, a hot rush of **something**forms a connection between the pit of his stomach and the back of his neck. He doesn't know what this is, and... It's killing him.**

_She knows what this is, but she denies it at every turn and bend of her thoughts and her conscious mind. Her subconscious, the voice that sounds aggravatingly like her mother, has to remind her every time he walks into the room of it. But she screams internally, drowning out the noise with more noise. And proceeds to turn sharply away from him, vaguely aware that he has started to reach for her._

**How could he have been so stupid as to have overlooked a feeling such as this? It must have happened before- he hadn't had a first since... well, he can't remember. The point was, this can't be a new feeling. He groans, leaning over his knees as he sits tucked in an alcove of the library. **

_How can she have fallen for... him? It was, she has to admit, highly unlikely, so it isn't exactly her fault that she's overlooked it... She sits up as the door to the Common Room slams and he storms in, face flushed._

**Now or never. Now or never. He repeats this to himself over and over- almost like a mantra- as he runs toward his- their- dorm. He admits to himself that, if this is going to work, he has to be lenient; he has to do what that silly little muggle girl had told him in primary school. _There's no such thing as _your_ world... it belongs to all of us! _Now that he thought about it, it made sense. He was going to have to be willing to share with her.**

_She stares at him, taking in his flustered appearance, robes in disarray, and blinks. Slowly, hesitantly, he moves toward her. She cranes her head to look up at him from the couch. _

**He flings open the door, panting. He can't remember the last time he ran this hard. She is sitting on the couch, surrounded by books, staring contemplatively out the window. As the door slams into the wall behind it, she glances up, her eyes wide, mouth hanging slightly agape- and all he can think to do is walk towards her, reach for her, and take her in his arms.**

_She watches him reach for her, as she has noticed he's done so many times before, but this time- this time he doesn't stop, only pushes forward in a rush, pulling her roughly toward him and wrapping his arms around her like he'll never let her go. She stiffens, unused to such contact, and his arms slacken, but she reaches around him and pulls him closer, desperate to feel the warmth that his presence brings her._

**He almost leaves, but the feel of her arms wrapping around his waist makes him want to hold on to her forever, and he moves next to her on the couch, half kneeling, half sitting. What he'd give to stay like this forever.**

_Oh, what she'd give to stay like this, in his arms, forever. But she knows there's a hidden reason to this, and she doesn't want to hurt herself, so she pulls away. The warmth that surrounds her fades away as they separate, and she nearly throws herself back into his arms. Instead, she sits up and looks him squarely in the eyes._

"Why?"

"...I don't know."

**She is beautiful, and he plunges into his feelings, heedless of anything that could stand in his way.**

"I don't know what this is but I... want it so badly that it hurts. I want to hold you at night, when it's coldest, and I see your face in the clouds when it rains, and I can't keep myself away from you much longer and oh, God, please just turn me away so it can end..."

_Her heart, body, mind and soul are on fire like nothing she's ever felt before. Without thinking, without planning, she plunges into her feelings, heedless of anything that could stand in her way._

"I know what this is and I have tried so long to dispel it but... every time I see you I think of those times when you've been civil to me and I... just want to say that I feel the same."

**He can't hold himself down anymore. Those words and that expression on her face have told him enough, and he pushes her against the back of the couch and smashes his lips to hers. **

_She isn't conscious of anything except him, and her, and this. The kiss is magic, of a kind that no book could teach her, and she pushes forward, eager to feel the kind side of him that she knows is there. This is like nothing she's ever felt before, and it's the best feeling in the world._

**He's kissed dozens of girls. But this is the first time the reaction has sparked something so strong inside him. He reaches up to play with the tips of her hair, and sighs against her. This is the first time, he realizes, that he's ever been in love.**

* * *

Sad enough to say, I've never been kissed, so I don't know how it feels. If the description isnt right, get over it. 

Please review, though, because even though it's short (only about a thousand words) I really love the way it turned out.

Love,

Rhia

Sad enough to say, I've never been kissed, so I don't know how it feels. If the description isnt right, get over it. Sad enough to say, I've never been kissed, so I don't know how it feels. If the description isnt right, get over it. Sad enough to say, I've never been kissed, so I don't know how it feels. If the description isnt right, get over it. Sad enough to say, I've never been kissed, so I don't know how it feels. If the description isnt right, get over it. 


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